III

So I saw Nicolas tonight, he was holding some woman's hand who I assumed to be his girlfriend. He looked at me and said hi to me as if nothing had ever transpired between us. As if he didn't realize I knew what he looked like when he was on the verge as if I never felt him touched me. I thought to myself: this is what it's all reduced to pretending to like each other in public. And I realized that staying away from him was the best decision I ever made and I will never allow a man to take my power from me ever again.

sTAte Of SiNGleDoM

You know, I'm starting to really feel comfortable being single. Even more than that I feel almost free, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. More than that, I feel like I'm finally starting to be comfortable in the skin I'm in and it feels so good not to worry about what some dude thinks of me. Or be worried about if he really loves me or not. Or have to lose sleep. It feels damn good.

CoFUsIon

I saw John today. . . I still don't know what to make of it. I don't know if I even care anymore. Why does the reality never measure up to the ideal?