CoNSIstEnCY

I long to be consistent. Be able to follow through and get things done. But my attention span is very low and my patience runs thin. I long to be that disciplined writer who finishes her stories and poetry and have something to show for it. I don't. I'm great at starting things but when it comes to finishing them, it's hard. Maybe John was right, I am flakey.
I haven't heard from John in months. I had hoped and prayed that this time around things would be different, but they never are. John will never changed, I would never ask him to change, but I wish it would take clear a little corner in his life and let me in. Knowing John, that would be asking for too much. Instead I would have to give up my life just to please him. I'm not willing to do that.
So I guess I've always know this, I just never wanted to believe it. Me and John are not meant to be together at least not in this lifetime. We couldn't even be friends if we tried. So I guess I'll just have to cut my losses and move on. I can handle that. At least I hope I can.