DiSConNectED

My relationships with everyone around me has deteriorated to almost non-existent. I hardly talk to my best friend anymore. I can't be in the same room with my mother without constantly having to do battle with her and I don't know what to make of the situation with my brother. From here on out it has been a torrential battle to make sense of these conflicting feelings of wanting to belong and just wanting to stand apart. I really can't take it any longer. I want so bad to understand why I don't function like "normal" people. Must I always be fighting depression, anxiety, confusion.........will I ever be able to say that today I feel "fine" ?
Maybe it's not in the stars for me to be "happy".......someday I hope I find someone who understands what I am going through.....