nUMb

I feel so numb right now. So out of touch. This has to end, somehow. . . the uncertainty . . . the emptiness. I want to feel something real, concrete, something I can touch that will restore my faith in life, in man, in the goodness again. Not this. This overshadowing of. . . nothing. Why can't it just make sense? Why do I feel like pain is the only thing I'll ever know? Why? Why do I feel like crying right now? When it should be easy to smile and look at the bright side of things. Why? Why can't I feel whole? Why do I feel torn apart? Like I have no heart. And the feelings won't come. All I feel is so numb. I don't know what else to say. These things won't go away. Why do I feel so much pain? I can't be sane. I'm going in circles.