CONcenTrATe!

I couldn't begin to tell you why as I sat on the edge of the chair at that crowded nightclub, an overwhelming sense of sadness and longing came over me. I couldn't see anyone or anything in front of me, all I could think about was . . . JOHN and how much I missed him and how I wish he was next to me. Then suddenly memories started pouring into my head. The first time we kissed, invaded my senses and suddenly I was transplanted to another time ... another place and I could see him leaning toward me and feeling his lips pressed against mine. It seemed like time stood still. There was no regard of time or place. . . just him. Just this overwhelming feeling of hunger. And the more we kissed, the more hungry I became.

Later that night, we went to the beach to look at the stars and talk. He talked about growing up poor, about missing his mom and I got to see how sensitive he was, how articulate. He wore the moon on his face and he never looked so beautiful. And I can remember being mesmerized by his lips, wanting to feel them on mine once again. So I leaned in and kissed him. He was surprised. I had never been so bold before, it felt right. We kissed until the sun rose and we were drowning in light. When we walked back to the car I was very silent. I didn't know what to think, what to do. I had never felt this way before, could I possibly have fallen in love with him? In twenty-four hours?! Was that even possible? I didn't want to think about it anymore, I didn't want to set myself up for disappoint, after all he was only here for three more days. We went back to his room and fell into each other's arms and went to sleep.

I sighed. Why now? I had been so good. I hadn't thought about him in weeks. I hadn't called him even longer. Then suddenly he pops into my head. I didn't get it. Maybe I never would.